JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders 42-43 – Jotaro, Will Seraph of the End Continue To Be Infuriatingly Boring?

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Ah, I see. I guess Seraph is DROPPED.

A lot of shit went down in these two episodes so I’ll first start by talking about the rest of D’Arby the Gamer’s fight because it’s by far the least brutal thing that went down in these two episodes. Mind you, this is the fight that included that creepy-ass Kakyoin doll without a rerorerorero button, so of course the rest will be fucking brutal. And, believe it or not, this and D’Arby the Gambler’s fight are indeed Jotaro’s finest moments.

vlcsnap-2015-05-16-18h23m25s991Like León Luis of GARO, Jotaro was a main character that I eventually liked way after the story began. I think I said this before, but I’m not too keen on that archetype of the slightly dorky kid pretending to be all edgy and mature and stoic.  It doesn’t help that the fights didn’t hit their stride until the end of the first half.

But really, I’m fucking sold on Jotaro ever since the N’Doul and the D’Arby the Gambler’s fights. I like Jotaro much more when he’s relying more on mind tricks and deceit, like both D’Arby fights, rather than raw strength with a faint dash of cleverness like in the early Stardust Crusaders fights.

It’s pretty cool how the ultimate solution to beat D’Arby the Gamer is by combining Jotaro’s stoicness with Joseph’s cheating. We all know Jotaro probably has his face muscles paralyzed in a terrible trike accident and that’s why he’s the ultimate bluffer of all time, and the reveal of Joseph manipulating Jotaro’s controls with Hermit Purple really made me laugh in a mix of surprise and awe.

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Of course, seeing D’Arby the Gamer just break down in terror and confusion at Jotaro’s amazing amazingness at playing Oh! That’s a Baseball!! is just so much more satisfying than any brawl in Stardust Crusaders could ever be. Even better is the sight of him begging for his life like a little bitch, asking Jotaro if he’s gonna do the ora ora thing. Spoiler alert: he does.

With the best fight in Stardust Crusaders out of the way, let’s talk about the most brutal fight in Stardust Crusaders.

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This is Vanilla– er… Cool please don’t sue me okay Ice . Now, this guy doesn’t seem like much at first. Really, just look at the guy., He’s wearing a skin-tight T-shirt with a bizarre waistcoat and a fucking heart-shaped belt. And the least we speak of his thong, the better. Nothing possibly offensive or deadly can come out of this guy, right?

Avdol looks like he could use a hand or two.
Avdol looks like he could use a hand or two.

Nope, the first thing he does is murder the fuck out of Avdol, just to show you he isn’t fucking around. It’s… sort of abrupt really. Although I must praise Araki for actually killing Avdol this time around. No bullshit explanations for survival. Just… Avdol dying and Vanilla Ice eating his arms.

You could say… he was Iced.

You know, as well-liked as this battle is (hell, it even made it into the OVA, albeit extremely compressed), I could never get into Vanilla Ice’s battle as a whole. I don’t find Vanilla Ice himself to be as entertaining as thrilling or suspenseful as the battle immediately preceding it.

SERIOUSLY ARAKI WTF DID DOGS DO TO YOU
SERIOUSLY ARAKI WTF DID DOGS DO TO YOU

It does have some really individual moments that stand out, like Vanilla Ice kicking Iggy over and over and over until Iggy resembles a bag of dollar steak (NSFL!) than a canine and one scene that will come next episode. But I don’t really think it is more than the sum of these parts.

Oh well. I’ll detail more next episode about why I don’t like Vanilla Ice’s battle compared to D’Arby the Gamer when I cover next episode, since it’s impossible to comment on it without giving the whole next episode away, which may be the result of some compressing the anime did.

Until then, let’s end this with the fact that while “Cool Ice” is indeed a dumb as fuck name, it could be worse. They could’ve named him “Ice Baby”.

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