JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders 46 – Cute Redhead Gets Fisted By Beautiful Blonde


Last week, we left JoJo on the cliffhanger of whether Noriaki Kakyoin, reroreroer extraordinaire, was a bad enough dude to defeat DIO. And this week, we open on Kakyoin swinging across Cairo like Japanese Spider-Man. Is he, indeed, a bad enough motherfucker (figuratively and literally) to at least put up a fight? Well…


Despite everything else that happened in this episode being really fucking awesome, the best part was still this flashback of Kakyoin’s childhood. Anything that furthers the characterization of best guy (It also happens that Kakyoin is my favorite Crusader, so I’m a bit biased regarding Kakyoin) is an automatic win in my book, but there are several factors that made this click particularly well.

For once, it shows that having a Stand is not exactly sunshine and rainbows and unicorns. Stands are, despite what the show would like you to think, pretty rare. As far as we know, Kakyoin never once met anyone else with a Stand, and it was pure hell for him. It was, after all, an integral part of him he couldn’t tell anyone about. I think there’s a metaphor here for something but that’d be tasteless.

And finally, we have established why Kakyoin went on this trip. Not because revenge against DIO, like Polnareff, but because he fits in with Jotaro and the Crusaders. D’awww.

I’m really not usually a fan of these flashbacks meant to tug at the audience’s heartstrings before killing of a character, but sometimes, every once in a while, someone does it right (like when they did it with The Black Knight in GARO: The Animation). Here, a combination of Hirakawa’s heartfelt delivery and the gloomy visuals by David Pro did make this much more effective than it in theory should’ve been.

Also: Young Kakyoin has cherries in his shirt. Goddammit, David Pro, you nutcases and your little details.

And this is the shot that inspired the title. I don't make shit up, lads.

And for once, I think the censorship actually contributed to the show regarding Kakyoin’s death. It really added to the intrigue of what the hell is DIO’s Stand and also to what the fuck what why wha killed Kakyoin. I honestly thought at first (because hey, I read the manga a long time ago) that Kakyoin was killed because DIO reflected Kakyoin’s emeralds. But no! I was wrong, and it just turns out that DIO fisted Kakyoin in the stomach, thereby inspiring this week’s title (because I don’t make up titles).

Joseph really can’t do much using Hermit Purple and Hamon, so he uses the Joestar secret technique to run like a bitch. After some really hard thinking, he finally figures out what is ZA WARUDO’s ability and runs into Jotaro somehow and then…

Oh. Oh. Oh dear. Takehito Koyasu’s ZA WARRRRRRDO is glorious. I have no idea what is better during this scene; the really over the top delivery of the line itself, David Pro’s really cool visual effect (much more interesting than the one in either fighting game) or the melodramatic orchestral choir playing in the background or the sound effect that is halfway between letting all the air out of a balloon, a robot fart and a really wicked dubstep bass drop.

It’s just… breathtaking how everything in this scene was perfectly coordinated to create the most awesome three seconds of anime this season. Fucking David Pro, stop being so based.

vlcsnap-2015-06-07-19h06m44s936It’s pretty funny how DIO, despite only being capable of stopping time for five seconds, can somehow deliver a tremendous speech (in which Koyasu is obviously having a lot of fun) talking down to Joseph and Jotaro in those five seconds. Maybe JoJo plays by the kabuki rules (thanks, Boueibu!) and time technically freezes when he’s speechifying. Does this mean that time froze… while time froze?


Just in case you thought animals that are not dogs are safe under Araki. You were wrong. Under Araki, all living beings must suffer. This cat (that looks suspiciously like D’Arby’s cat) is no exception.